How to Best Support When Your Loved One is Grieving
It can be really hard navigating how to best supportive of your partner, friend, family member when they are grieving the loss of a loved one. Oftentimes we don’t know if we should reach out or what exactly to say. The most important thing to remember if your loved one is grieving is that everyone handles and processes situations differently from the next person. The best possible thing to do is simply hold space for them to feel and process in whatever way that they need.
Don’t only focus on the good/put a positive spin on everything - acknowledge what they are saying in the way that they are saying it/acknowledge what it is for what it is.
Reach out to talk about it and then judge whether to continue with support based on how they respond - if you know the person well enough, you will be able to gauge if they are opening the door for that discussion, or closing it :) but it’s always better to ask and open the conversation than to not do it at all.
Don’t take things personally - if they are upset, anxious, angry and that comes out on you.. take a moment to zoom out and recognize that the reaction may be based within their own emotional schema related to what is going on.
Give little and give little a lot - texts, phone calls, chores around the house, hugs without the need for words, etc. are often times the best support possible because they don’t require any words or create a feeling of needing to acknowledge, as a gesture might if it is big and overarching.
Support their process - follow their lead whether they are leading with hope, fear, sadness, anger. Support it all. Simply put it, it is their process. LISTEN. LISTEN. LISTEN. We all know that feeling when you just want someone to listen without judgement, advice, or justification.
Remember that just because you are not the one grieving does not mean that you are not going through the process too. You may still know the person or even have a close relationship with the person who passed so as much as it is important to take care of your loved one through their process, it is important to recognize and label your own. Label your emotions and take time to be with them. The simple act of acknowledging what the emotion is (sadness, confusion, anger) entirely beneficial.
If you or your loved one is interested in seeking support during this time please do not hesitate to reach out to me. I offer a free 20 minute consultation to all.