Why Do People Worry When Someone Gains Weight and Not the Inverse?

We’ve all heard it, 

“I am worried about them, they have put on so much weight.”

Versus

“They look so great they have lost so much weight!”

Why do these two differing outcomes warrant two very different responses? The simple answer is: Diet Culture. 

Diet Culture has primed us to praise weight loss and oppress weight gain. Even if these comments are made with the best intentions in mind, they often create a disordered relationship with your body. 

Different people have different relationships with weight. Therefore certain people gain weight when they are ill and others lose weight when they are ill. 

Then why do we praise weight loss if it happens for reasons that are unhealthy? 

Partly, because we are conditioned to respond this way. Because of this, disordered eating and disease often goes unnoticed in those that lose weight when they are ill. Additionally, individuals who are in larger bodies and lose weight commonly go undiagnosed with an eating disorder because they do not ‘fit the mold.’

Oftentimes, this is how eating disorders develop.

The internal dialogue, “oh I am sick but I lost weight and I am being validated by other people, what does this say about me? I am lovable and more attractive if I continue to lose weight and stay ill.”

This weight loss versus weight gain bias is something that we are taught. We are not born with the opinions that being in a thin body is good and being in a large body is bad. 

We can each look at our own individual biases. We can assess where and when we find ourselves judging someone’s body size (or our own). Through our own exploration where our biases show up and how we validate them onto others we can push against diet culture and the oppressive opinions that it teaches.

REACH OUT FOR SUPPORT WITH EATING DISORDER TREATMENT

If you are interested in learning more about how I work with individuals through eating disorder treatment, please feel free to read more here or reach out to set up a free 20 minute consultation. I look forward to hearing from you!

-Ellie