Who Am I Without My Eating Disorder?
Who am I without my eating disorder? This is a question that is often raised in the eating disorder recovery world. While in your disorder you might recognize that it has become a big part of your identity, if not your identity itself. An eating disorder can dictate every decision in someone’s life. It often governs what to eat, how to eat it, when to eat, what to do, and what not to do. Therefore it might not come as a surprise to hear that it can also be the main identification that someone lives with.
Who am I without my eating disorder?
While in recovery you begin to loosen the strict associations that you have with your eating disorder. The specific details of an eating disorder identification often encompass a person’s size, relationship with food, how they think/feel, and how they interact with others. When you pull this rug out from underneath the feet you are left with so much space to redefine who you are and how you want to live your life. This can generate both fear (who am I without my eating disorder?) and opportunity (what do I really want to be and do with my life?).
Once in recovery, you will begin to feel and experience all that life has to offer
Grief, relief, excitement, joy, sadness, anger… to list a few, these are some of the emotions experienced throughout eating disorder recovery. You might find that it is the first time, or the first time in a long time, that you are actually feeling something. Do not judge your emotions, all are welcome, and the moment we label them as ‘bad’ or ‘good’ we limit the freedom that we give ourselves to live an authentic life.
Be patient with your eating disorder recovery
Recovering from an eating disorder takes time. Like all recovery, progress is non-linear. It is an upward trajectory with the unpredictable speed bumps that life brings along. Be patient with yourself. Seek professional help. Take the step to figure out who you are and how you want to live your life not defined by your relationship with food and your body.
REACH OUT FOR SUPPORT WITH EATING DISORDER TREATMENT
If you are interested in learning more about how I work with individuals through eating disorder treatment, please feel free to read more here or reach out to set up a free 20 minute consultation. I look forward to hearing from you!
-Ellie