The Good Enough Parent

A recent study conducted by BabyCenter released its annual report on modern mothering. The study found that nearly 80% of millennial moms said it’s important to be “the perfect mom,” compared with about 70% of moms in Generation X; 64% of moms across age groups said they believe parenting is more competitive today than it used to be. Many believe that this is due to the accessibility to information on parenting and child development. Since so much of the information out there is conflicting, parents are finding themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place as they determine the best strategies to raise their children. Therefore, the strive for perfection becomes an impossible feat. 

The overarching issue here is that parenting is never going to be perfect. When a parent has adopted a perfectionist mindset they will partner that mindset with feelings of blame. Blame is the result of something not going as planned and blame occurs when things do not turn out as they were expected to. Whether that blame be on the parent, the spouse, the caregiver, or the child, it will make its way into the family.

As the expectation for perfection becomes more desired, the inevitable blemishes that occur in parenting become magnified. Resulting from this expectation came the idea of the ‘good enough parent.’ According to Psychology Today, “good enough parents do not strive to be perfect parents and do not expect perfection from their children.” They understand that mistakes are going to happen and their role as a parent will inevitably have its flaws. The Good Enough parent is not the parent that parent’s the most, and they are not the parent that parent’s the least. Rather, the Good Enough Parent puts an emphasis on creating a secure base for their child rather than solving the child’s problems for them or ignoring them all together. With established security in a child’s attachment they will feel free to be who they are, express themselves creatively, and make mistakes and learn. 

If you are interested in learning more about how I work with children and parent’s, feel free to reach out. You can also contact me to schedule a free 20 minute consultation.